Wash, pat dry and trim the edges of bendakaya or okra. Cut into 1 ½ - 2” pieces.
Heat oil in a saucepan and fry okra pieces on medium flame until roasted, about 4-5 minutes.
Remove okra and keep aside.
In the same pan, saute onions until soft.
Add ginger garlic paste, green chilies and saute until raw smell of ginger gone.
Add coriander powder, chili powder, salt and turmeric powder and mix well.
Add tomatoes, give a quick stir, cover and cook on medium - medium high flame until tomatoes are soft and mushy.
Add water and stir. Keeping the flame low, add milk. Stir immediately to avoid milk from curdling.
Increase the flame, cover and bring shorva to a boil.
Add fried okra simmer for 4-5 minutes or until shorva is done.
Check the consistency and add more water if needed. If diluting the shorva, simmer for a few more minutes.
If using coconut powder, add 3-4 minutes before turning off the flame. Do a taste test and adjust chili powder and salt. If adjusting chili powder, simmer for few minutes until it blends into the stew.
Transfer to a serving bowl, garnish with cilantro and serve with rice, pulao, roti, poori or paratha.